About a few years ago, there is a film that have title 'Sweet November' , romantic film starring Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron,the story is about the best November that they through together but it has sad ending. Anyway, my post is not about that film, I just wanna give a little background about the title of my post this time.

I called this November is the worst month in this year or maybe in the last 24 years. One by one ordeal came to my life, from the beginning of the month till that day, started from my self, my love.. my dreams has been broken ... This heart is broken too, just wondering what I have done before, what mistake that I've done in this life or in another life if another life is exists, I mean a big mistake that can't be apologized not just a mistake, because there's always a mistake since I just only a human. Just wondering why it happens to me,if I have a mistake that can't be apologized, all I can say is pardon me.

And then my father is hospitalized, this one makes me totally down. When I tried to cure my self from the recently problem, another problem has come. All I can do just cry, this pained is too much, sometimes I want to give up, wish that today is my last day in this complicated world, so I don't need to feel this pain. But I should be stronger, for my father, my mom, my bro, my sis.

That's why I called this is not my "Sweet November", even November doesn't reach a half yet. All the problems have made me insane. Hopefully I can through this. Stand up in my own leg and God as my savior.